皇后之夢﹐何去何從？

要嫁威廉王子﹐非得學好英文不可。「鬼仔上門教英文」這個獵男(！又話學英文?)行動宣告失敗後﹐唯有向威廉王子的師兄﹐Orwell先生(咩呀？先生都係伊頓仔黎架！)求救。六月出生的Orwell先生有著金牛座的本質﹐癲！傻！我好懷疑他的父母/醫院搞錯了他出生月份。他﹐應該是金—牛—人。

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Orwell先生在法國的時候非常潦倒﹐沒錢沒飯吃。靠補習英語來維持生計。但那時候﹐補習不是一份穩定的工作。有時一個麵包吃上幾天﹐苦不堪言。有一天﹐他的朋友找到路數﹐叫他去幫一份蘇聯報紙寫文章:

"Tell me, do you have any political opionion?"
"No."I said.(好明顯，佢求其地答)
"Neither have I......What i mean is, would you object to earning money from Communists?"
"No, of course not."
"......They are correspondents for a Moscow paper, and they want some articles on English politics. If we go to them at once they may commission you to write the acticles."
"Me? But i don't know anything about politics."(咪玩野好喎!)
"Neither do they. Who does know anything about politics? It's easy. All you have to do is to copy it out of the English papers. Isn't there a Paris Daily Mail? Copy it from that."
"But the Daily Mail is a Conservation paper. They loathe the Communists."
"Well, say the opposite of what the Daily Mail says, then you can't be wrong."

運滯的Orwell先生好明顯是得不到那份工作。第二天﹐當他去約定的地方見工時﹐才發現那裡只是一處荒廢了的地方。傻傻的他又再上當了。

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其實我想說﹐如果我的英文程度可以毫不困難地讀明Orwell先生的《Anti-Semitism in Britain》﹑《Notes on Nationalism》等等等等文章﹐那麼我便可以和威廉王子討論形而學上的哲學性政治問題(有這樣的東西嗎?)!然後我倆攜手打造一個「新英國」!(白高敦﹐死開啦!)

完。